Preamble: It's OK to like a truly crappy movie. Everyone has one. This is mine. I Woke Up Early The Day I Died, is one of those crappy, campy movies that is just a train wreck from start to finish. I just couldn't believe this movie actually got made with actors whom I've actually seen in other things before this film was made and even after.

You maybe wondering just how I came across this film... All I vaguely remember is searching the internet for the phrase 'worse director of all time' and the search provided a name, Ed Wood, Jr. and the name rang a bell and I suddenly remembered the movie Ed Wood which was directed by Tim Burton and starred Johnny Depp who played the titular character. The list of movies he'd written and directed was long but only I Woke Up Early The Day I Died was readily available at my local Blockbuster.

While, I haven't seen all of Wood's movies, I've seen a ton. It's kind of became a pass time of mine. It's been a few years since I watched one of Wood's films so last night I decided it was time to rewatch this one. Let's just say that I wouldn't neccessarily recommend this, it's just a little known movie that I wanted to talk about because it started with the letter 'i' and I Spit On Your Grave is way too controversial for a fun challenge such as A to Z.

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Year: 1997

Rated: PG - 13

Summary - A mental patient escapes from the looney bin in drag, robs a bank, and goes on the lam!

Directed by: Aris Iliopulos

Written by: Ed Wood

Starring:

• Billy Zane as The Thief
• Ron Perlman as Cemetery Caretaker
• Tippi Hedren as Maylinda Austed/Professional Mourner
• Andrew McCarthy as Cop
• Will Patton as Preacher
• Carel Struycken as Undertaker
• Max Perlich as assistant Undertaker
• Patrick Painter as assistant Undertaker #2
• John Ritter as Robert Forrest/Professional Mourner
• Karen Black as Honey Child
• Sandra Bernhard as Sandy Sands/Professional Mourner and Stripper
• Eartha Kitt as Cult Leader
• Ann Magnuson as Loan Secretary
• Abraham Benrubi as Bouncer
• Christina Ricci as Teenage Hooker
• Jonathan Thomas as Boy at Beach
• Michael Greene as Tom Harris - Professional Mourner and barfly
• Roberta Hanley as Housewife
• Robert Musselman as Eartha Kitt's Escort
• Marvin Lorence as Eartha Kitt's Piano Player
• Megan Odebash as Wardrobe Mistress
• Rain Phoenix as Bartender#1
• Summer Phoenix as Bartender#2 / Girl at the Beach
• Steven M. Porter as Detective #2
• Jed Reghanti as Prom King
• Tara Reid as Prom Queen / Nightclub Bartender
• Joann Richter as Woman at Supermarket
• Kathleen Robertson as Ticket Girl
• Mark Rolston as Hot Dog Vendor
• David Ward as Cruiser Cop #1
• Rick Schroder as Cruiser Cop #2
• Nicollette Sheridan as Ballroom Woman
• Gregory Sporleder as Loan Manager
• Steven Weber as Policeman in Alley
• Kathleen O'Hara Wood as Woman at Carnival
• Billie Worley as Fat Taxi Driver
• Lee Arenberg as Parking Lot Attendant
• Mark Boone Junior as Cop #3
• Conrad Brooks as Cruise Cop #3
• Joseph Darrell as Uniform Cop #1
• Leif Garret as Cruiser Cop #4
• Dana Gould as Carnival Barker
• Michael G. Hagerty as Flop House Manager
• Brent Hinkley as Detective #1
• Jeff Horny as Smokey
• Denice D. Lewis as Star Stripper
• Blake Lindsley as Ticket Girl
• Anna Austin as Nurse
• Maila Nurmi as Woman in Hotel Lobby
• Donita Ganzon Gold as Savannah
• Bud Cort as Shopkeeper Lord Heinrich 'Binky' Alcoa III
• Tilghman Branner as Policeman in Alley/Snakewoman Cirus

The Review
The most fascinating thing about this movie to me is that the film has no dialogue, only atmospheric sounds, alternating bursts of laughter, and screams. The "script" is filled with nihilism, anarchism and a lot of black humor. In that way to me if it was intentional (which I'm pretty sure it wasn't but still...) then it has a sibilance of high art in that way but I'll be honest on the surface it very much is low brow garbage.

Every now and again I enjoy slapstick and this movie is very much in the vein of that. The cast truly is an all star cast that came together to honor Ed Wood and they give it their all to try and recreate the atmosphere but unfortunately, Aris Iliopulos fails in that regard.

The best thing about this movie is Billy Zane. After rewatching this movie last night, I could honestly see Billy Zane being The Joker in a Batman film one day.

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Grade: D-

Aces for Acting

• Billy Zane

MVP

• Ron Pearlman

Favorite Character

• Nurse

Best Character Interactions

• The Thief and everyone he encounters

Best Scene

• The Thief escapes the asylum.

Notable Quotable

• N/A

Most Memorable Moment

• The Thief prances down a set of steps like a ballerina for no reason at all.

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Did I whet your appetite to watch I Woke Up Early The Day I Died for the first time or maybe just the first time in a long time?

Be sure to come back tomorrow when I discuss Jacob's Ladder.

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